Holiday Stress-Busters: Tips for a More Relaxing Christmas
by April E. Osborn

Christmas is a magical time of year, but if seeing the first Christmas displays of the year causes you a tinge of anxiety, you’re probably not alone.

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With holiday excitement comes high expectations, and sometimes your stress levels can’t help but rise to the occasion as well. With so much to do and so little time, your good holiday intentions can turn on you, and before you know it, your perfect Christmas has become an endless succession of tense, overcrowded days and sleepless nights. Luckily, some good planning and wise choices can help you keep things under control. Here are some tips to keep stress levels low and spirits high all season long.

Arrange a cookie exchange. Instead of spending hours making twelve different kinds of goodies, make twelve dozen of the same kind of cookie and arrange to exchange them with friends and neighbors. If you’re not exactly keen on the idea of baking in general, don’t force yourself—buy “homemade” treats from the bakery at your local grocery store instead.

Shop efficiently. If you start shopping early, you can avoid crowds and unexpected sell-outs. Be sure to carry a list with you (including gift ideas as well as gifts you’ve already purchased) and don’t buy more gifts than you need. Online shopping can save you time and money as well, allowing you to compare prices without driving to different locations, and the variety of products you can buy online may surprise you. If you’re not Internet savvy, catalog shopping is also a great option.

Delagate. You don’t have to do everything. If your house needs cleaning and decorating, assign each family member a room and let them join in the fun. Keep age in mind when making assignments, and make your expectations clear. You can also delegate the holiday shopping duties. If you have a lot of nieces and nephews to buy presents for, let your kids be responsible for picking out the gifts (with a little guidance and a spending limit), and make sure to come up with ideas before you go shopping.

Use the same gift for multiple people. If you find something that’s perfect for your sister and your best friend but can’t decide who to give it to, do yourself a favor and buy two. There’s no rule that every gift you give has to be unique, and the fact that someone else got it too isn’t going to make either of them like it any less. If you’re afraid it might, avoid giving the same gift to people who see each other often, but you’re probably still safe giving the same thing to your co-worker as you give to your sister.

Get help. When the kids are home during the day and you only have a few days to get everything done, having a helping hand can be a real lifesaver. If your spouse is available, take turns watching the kids and running errands. If not, don’t hesitate to hire a babysitter for the day while you shop, decorate the tree, or wrap presents. You’ll get a lot more done if you can focus on one thing at a time, and your blood pressure will thank you.

Don’t schedule too many events in a row. Moderation in all things applies to holiday celebrations too. If you go to a parade in the morning, a party in the afternoon, and the ballet in the evening, you can almost guarantee someone will be sleeping, or crying, throughout the performance. Know when to say when, and stop the activities before your family reaches the breaking point.

Remember, children need to be active. You can hardly expect your three-year-old to sit still during dinner after being confined to a car seat the whole way to Grandma’s house. If you have a long drive ahead of you, break it up by stopping to let the kids play, or make sure you have enough time for them to play at Grandma’s before they have to sit down for dinner.

Don’t give in to the “gimmes.” While the Christmas season may tempt you to spoil your children, try to resist. Giving in to every little request sends a bad signal to your kids and causes even more stress for you and your wallet. Most kids are getting so much from so many people this time of year that the checkout line toy will just be junk by the end of the day. Don’t be afraid to tell your children if a gift is too expensive—even Santa follows a budget. Giving your kids some holiday service opportunities can also help to put things in perspective for them and give them a good outlet for their extra holiday energy.

Set a holiday budget and stick to it. Closely related to not giving in to your child’s every whim is not giving in to any whims that don’t fit in your budget. If you can’t afford to give gifts to every person you’ve met in the last ten years, don’t feel obligated to. If you can’t afford to give everyone something big and expensive, then keep your gifts small and personal. If you’re throwing a party and providing food, only buy food for the number of guests you are actually expecting—not only will this save you money, it will also save your fridge from the burden of leftovers that are never eaten. If your party budget is tight, consider making dinner a potluck affair.

House hop. If Christmas day will be an all day party at your house, consider doing Christmas Eve at your sister’s house, New Year’s Eve at your mom’s, and New Year’s Day with the in-laws. This way, everyone gets a chance to play the host, and no one person is left scrambling to clean up every night for a week. At the same time, just because Aunt Sally is hosting doesn’t mean she should have to do all the cooking. If everyone brings something (an entrée, salad, or dessert) the whole process will be more enjoyable for everyone. Note: My family always ends up with too many entrées and not enough sweet potatoes. If this is a problem in your family, check ahead of time to make sure you have a good spread.

Make sure to have some down time.* After a busy day, wind down by reading a story or watching a movie with your kids, then take some time for yourself. Do something you really like to do—reward yourself for all of your hard work. Have some hot chocolate with your husband, go for an evening stroll (if it’s not too cold), or take a bubble bath. Down time is as essential to a joyous holiday as any other element.

Be prepared for something to go wrong. If the turkey comes out a little too done, or the sparkling cider is toppled by your two-year-old, don’t let it get to you. Some mishaps are inevitable, and worrying about them will not help. Know ahead of time that something probably will go wrong, but that it’s alright. You want the holiday to be perfect, but don’t worry too much if every little detail isn’t exactly what you planned—the overall effect is really what you’re going for anyway.

When you have stress under control, everyone will enjoy themselves more. Resist the urge to take over when something isn’t being done perfectly. Sit back and enjoy people and things for who and what they are—Christmas quirks usually make for better stories than perfection anyway. And more than anything else, make sure you’re doing things for the right reasons. If your family has a tradition that you absolutely hated as a child, you are not required to continue it in your own family, and it will probably be more pleasant for everyone if you don’t. At the same time, be flexible. Family members won’t always agree on what’s important in a celebration, and some compromises may be necessary. Be ready to make some concessions—and remember what the season is really all about.

LDS Living Magazine, Nov/Dec Issue

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